Havoc of the Heart
by Heartless Shinra Alchemist
Summary: Poor Jean Havoc...Roy Mustang aka Colonel Sarcasam has stolen every girl he's had since he's joined his regimen...When he finally blows his top, Roy gives him an order. Go out and find a girl, and don't come back until you've found one.
1. The Challenge And The Bet

A/N: Hello. I'm not much of a romance person, but I just feel so sorry for Havoc that I have to give him a girl. The dateline is kinda fuzzy for this fanfic, but just work with me, people!

_Roy Mustang has done it again. He'd taken my heart and smashed it into pieces. Wait...I know what you're thinking! I'm NOT gay! The Colonel just stole my girl...AGAIN, DAMMIT! It's not enough that he's taken every girl I've had since I joined his divison. Oh no, he's got to go and dump her after the second date! I can't take it anymore! I'm so gonna kill that bastard!_

Roy Mustang was sitting at his desk, staring intently at one of those 'Magic Eye' puzzles, when Havoc burst into his office. He didn't even look upp as the man stormed to his desk, fury clear in every inch of his face.

"You're a low bastard, you know that?" Havoc muttered, slamming his fist onto Roy's desk. Roy looked up, bored.

"Can I help you?" he asked lazily. Havoc's face twisted with fury.

"No thanks, sir. I think I've had enough help from you." Roy actually flinched as he heard the sarcasm drip acidly from Havoc's voice. Shrugging, Roy turned back to the illusion. Havoc was not having this, however. In a fit of rage, he slapped the book out of Roy's hands, glaring as it smacked into a window and slid to the floor. Roy sighed.

"You know, that could be considered as assaulting a superior officer," he replied, careful to keep his voice even and aloof. Havoc's glare returned to him at full force.

"I don't give a shit, Colonel," he growled. Roy looked up into the man's blazing blue eyes. He sighed again and pulled himself out of his chair.

"Very well, then. I'll just have to punish you." A look of fear crossed Havoc's face. He knew that he had pushed too far if the Colonel was actually going to take the time to punish him. Roy's eyes glinted as he turned his gaze to Havoc. "Second Lutenient Havoc, you are hereby banned from duty until you have a girlfriend that you have gone out with at least three times!" Havoc's look of fear transfered to one of mixed shock and horror.

"B-but sir..." he stuttered, grabbing at the collar of his shirt. "How am I going to live? Am I going to have to find a new job?" Roy laughed.

"No, Lutenient. You'll be paid. But you honestly should have been more careful of your words if you were concerned about your job," he reprimanded. Havoc saluted him nervously and exited the office hastily. Roy watched him go with a laugh. "Oh yeah, I'm so going to win the bet on this one!"

The three men jumped out of their skins when the Colonel stormed his way into the room. Each tried franticly to cover the cards they had been playing poker with. In his haste, Fuery knocked over the sake, which made Breda groan in discust.

"Fuery, that was my last bottle..." he moaned, sinking to the floor sadly. Roy frowned down at him.

"No use crying over spilled sake," he said, pulling Breda to his feet. "Anyway, we've got a bet to take care of!" The three others turned, glancing curiously at Roy.

"What kind of bet, Colonel?" Falman asked nervously. Roy grinned.

"A bet on Havoc." The four men sniggered evilly. Roy sat down in a chair, the other three crowding around him anxiously.

"So...what're we betting on, Colonel?" Fuery asked innocently. Roy grinned.

"Well, the Lutenient is angry because I stole his girlfriend." The others laughed. Roy glared at them until they silenced. "Anyway," he said. "I banned him from duty until he has gone out with a girl for at least three dates." he finished, quite proud of himself. Breda raised an eyebrow.

"How're we gonna know if this is fair?" he asked. Roy pointed to Hawkeye, who was going over crime files in the corner, ignoring the men.

"Hawkeye's going to spy on him," he said happily. Hawkeye looked up with a frown.

"What makes you think I'd do that?" she asked, calm as ever. Roy's grin widened.

"Because I'm a higher ranking officer who's telling you that it's your new mission." Hawkeye stood up and sighed.

"Very well, sir. Should I leave?" Roy shook his head.

"No, Captain. I need to speak to you privately after the betting is done." Breda laughed and nudged Fuery with his elbow suggesively. Hawkeye noticed this and pulled out her revolver, pointing it at Breda's head.

"I'm an excellent marksman," she threatened. Fuery stood up, embarrased.

"Now, now. Ley's just settle down..." he said, tugging at Hawkeye's arm. She sighed and put her gun back in its holster.

"Oh sit down, Master Sergent," she muttered irratably. Fuery nodded and collapsed back into his chair, sighing. Roy looked to Falman.

"What's your bet, Warrant Officer?" Falman smiled and set a small amount of money on the table.

"5,000 sens that Havoc comes back in a year," he said confidently. Fuery shook his head and frowned.

"No, 10,000 sens he comes back in six months, begging for his job back." The money was placed on top of Falman's.

"10,000 says that he never comes back," Breda smirked. His money was placed in the growing heap on the table. The three men looked to their superior officer. Roy grinned and placed 20,000 sens on the table.

"I bet he comes back within a month," he said. The three men's jaws dropped to the floor in astonishment.

"Y-you're kidding me, right?" Falman asked, dumbfounded. Roy shook his head.

"Nope. I'm dead serious!" Breda got up out of his chair and headed for the door.

"And you're also dead broke," he teased. Fuery and Falman laughed and followed Breda out of the door. When Roy was sure they were gone, he turned to Hawkeye.

"Riza," he said gently. She rolled her eyes at him.

"What, Roy?" He grinned.

"I really do have a purpose in doing this, you know." Riza smiled and moved to sit next to Roy.

"Really...now what could that be?" Roy smiled deviously.

"I know a girl who needs a good man. A man like Havoc. So I need you to help them along, you know?" Riza sighed.

"You sure this isn't just you trying to cheat on your bet?" she asked harshly. Roy shook his head with amusement.

"Nah," he said, moving over towards Riza. "Besides," he muttered, enveloping Riza in a large hug. "It's a good way to spend extra time with you." Riza laughed and pushed him away playfully.

A/N: So, how was it? I'm warning you, this story is very fluffy.


	2. Dances With Chimeras

A/N: Hello. It's Heartless Shinra Alchemist. Here's chapter two. By the way, the bookstore is based off of my favorite used bookstore, Bookman. They really do have cats that live in the store...it's so cool! And the whole place is covered in books! I love it.

Havoc sighed as he looked around his new apartment. It was sparsely furnished, with an oven, a table, and a microwave in the kitchen and a bed with a nightstand in the bedroom. The bathroom had a toilet and a large shower, too. At his feet were five stuffed suitcases filled with his clothes, blankets, and other necessities. He pulled his cigarettes from his front pocket and lit one up with the lighter in his other hand.

"Well, looks like this is home..." he muttered. Sighing, he kicked the suitcases down the empty hallway into the bedroom. He kicked the door open, cringing slightly as it slammed against the wall. The walls were painted a neutral blue, and the carpet was a dull grey. Havoc collapsed onto the bed and began to rummage through his suitcases, pulling out clothing and blankets. He stopped as his hand collided with something hard and square. Curious, he pulled it out. It was a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend Sasha. Havoc snarled and flung the picture across the room, wincing as the glass shattered against the wall. He glanced over and slowly walked over, picking up the picture through the glass shards. He placed the picture in the drawer of his nightstand. Silently, he put all his clothes away in a small footlocker at the foot of the bed. When he was done, he rolled onto the bed, staring at the ceiling with a bored expression.

"What am I going to do?" he asked himself. He honestly had nothing to do. He was getting paid for not doing any work. Havoc sat up slowly, remebering the bookstore he had seen on the way to the apartment. It was only a few blocks away, not that far of a walk...Havoc ran to the door, pulling his boots and jacket on, and shambled outside. "Time to go to the bookstore," he said.

Havoc walked into the store cautiously, suddenly nervous. The store was a used bookshop and although it was fairly large, there were books crammed everywhere. Apparently there were more books than space on the bookshelves, because there were piles of books in front of almost every shelf. There was a small counter to the left of him, just barely visible behind the piles of books that covered it. Havoc jumped as he saw a large grey cat standing on the counter, yawning lazily. With a smile, he walked over to the cat, hand outstreched.

"Hey, cat," he said in a friendly tone. The cat viewed him from one blue eye before streching to rub itself against his hand. Havoc laughed and stroked the cat behind its ears, which caused the cat to purr.

"Aww..." called a voice from the back of the shop. "He likes you." Havoc looked up to see a girl approaching him, her arms laden with thick books.

"Oh," he said as the cat jumped from its perch on the counter and began to wound itself around the girl's feet. The girl giggled and set the books on the counter with a smile.

"Hello. My name's Misha. What's yours?" Her grey eyes sparkled kindly. Havoc rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.

"Uhm...Second Lu-wait...sorry. Jean Havoc." He turned beet red. Misha giggled again.

"Well, Mr. Havoc, what can I do for you?" She leaned over to pick up the cat, who lept lightly into her arms. Havoc sighed.

"Honestly, I've got nothing to do and I was wondering what the shop was like." He fiddled with the cover of a book on the counter. Misha nodded and placed the cat down.

"Well, what kind of books do you like?" She asked, tucking a strand of short black hair behind one of her ears. As she did so, the many bangles she wore tinkled pleasantly. Havoc's face screwed up with concentration.

"Uhm...I like books on the history of Ishballa...but they're really rare," he said, embarrassed. Misha grinned mischeviously.

"I think I can find something for you," she said, flying to the back of the store. Havoc followed her as she muttered under her breath, tapping bookshelves as she went. Suddenly, Misha halted in front of a shelf with lots of books that were easily six inches thick. Long fingers danced quickly over various spines, halting on one with symbols that Havoc couldn't recognize embossed into the red leather of the spine. Misha pulled the book out, flipping it onto its side.

"I can't read Ishballan," Havoc stated, slightly embarrassed. Misha turned and stuck her tounge out at him.

"I can see that." She opened the book, revealing that the words were written in the common language. "But this book isn't written in Ishballan." Havoc smiled and took the book.

"Thanks, ma'am. May I stay and read it?" Misha glanced at him curiously.

"Sure, but...why?" she asked, obviously confused. Havoc laughed.

"I'm here because I have tons of time to waste. I figure sitting down and reading a two-thousand page book might take some time," he chuckled. Misha smiled.

"In that case, come with me," she said, grabbing Havoc's hand. She half-dragged him to another corner of the store, where several large armchairs and a somewhat squashed sofa stood. OoC// Hooray for alliterations!// Misha grinned and sank into the blue armchair. She laughed at Havoc's stunned impression and pointed to the sofa. Havoc sat nervously, still staring as Misha as if she were insane.

"It's not very often that customers are all that interested in staying," she explained, propping her feet up onto a small table that sat in between the chairs. "Most of them just come in looking for some rare alchemy book and then leave." Misha sighed. "Since my parents died, this shop has been so lonely..." Havoc glanced at Misha curiously.

"Your parents are dead?" he asked. Misha nodded. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. Misha shrugged.

"It was their time. And now they are with Ishballah or wherever souls go after they're dead, so I can't complain..." She grinned. "And besides, that means that I can keep my chimeras in the store!" Havoc jumped.

"Chimeras?" he asked nervously. Misha nodded, then pulled a whistle from her pocket. Placing it to her lips, she blew, but no sound came from it. However, many different chimeras began to swarm around Misha, all purring or chirping, or making some other noise of contentment. Havoc whistled.

"It's not what you think, Mr. Havoc," she said defensively. She looked at him, fear in her eyes as she picked up a cat with blue bird wings and a feathered tail. "All these were made from animals that were dying. I did it to save their lives." Havoc nodded.

"I believe you, ma'am, I'm just a little surprised at how many there are. How do you feed them all?" Misha smiled.

"I let them outside and they fend for themselves. The neighbors know that my chimeras are harmless and sometimes leave food out for them." The bird-cat chirruped as Misha stroked its feathered tail. "Actually," she said with a modest grin, "I've helped with a lot of animals around here too. I've saved the lives of quite a few of my neighbors' pets by turning them into chimeras." Havoc smiled.

"Why haven't you signed up to be part of the military yet? I'm sure they'd love to have your talents. You'd make a great State Alchemist!" he said, nudging her slightly. Misha's smile slipped a little.

"Yeah. I'd love to be part of the military, but my place is with the shop. And besides," she giggled. "I get to read nonstop with this job!" Havoc smiled and looked down at his watch.

"Damn," he swore, standing up. He turned to Misha, an apologetic smile on his face. "Ma'am, I have to go and meet a friend of mine. Can I drop in tomorrow?" Misha nodded, her face dumbfounded. Havoc grinned and placed the large red-bound book into the girl's hands. "Keep this safe for me, will ya?" Misha nodded mutely, waving meekly as Havoc rushed out the door.

_Day I:_

_It appears that the Second Lutenient has already met with the person I intended him to meet. Even better, he seems to have accepted her idiosyncrasies. He has arranged to meet the girl again tomorrow, but that doesn't count as a date quite yet. Things seem to be going as planned._


	3. Don't Catch The Boquet

A/N: Hey, It's Heartless Shinra Alchemist again. When I write, I listen to music and I'm currently listening to Frou Frou. Also, I'm in my mother's room and constantly looking at my cat Puff's adorable little kittens. (I think I've mentioned them before, Roy and Riza) So all this fluff is coming from that, not me. I'm actually really bad at this sort of thing, but those two little balls of fur in my mom's closet are making me so happy!

When Havoc walked into the store again, there was music playing. It was slow and kinda airy, with violins playing in the background. As he was winding his way through the stacks of books, he tripped and banged his ankle against a bookshelf. Several books fell as a result.

"Shit," he muttered as he leaned over to pick up the books that had fallen. As slim hand reached at the same time as his, colliding with Havoc's wrist. Havoc looked up and sputtered his apologies, as did the girl who the hand belonged to. With amusement, he noticed that the girl was Misha.

"I'm sorry," he muttered shyly. Misha smiled as she straightened the books.

"It's no problem, Mr. Havoc. I thought you weren't going to come, so I'm happy enough as it is," she said happily. Havoc raised a blonde eyebrow.

"Why'd you think I wasn't coming?" he asked, confused. Misha's smile saddened a bit.

"I've had customers who have said that they'd show up the next day, but they never do," she murmered as she slipped around the bookshelves to the corner with the armchairs. Havoc followed hesistantly, listening intently as Misha continued, albeit quietly. "Most often, I never see those peoples' faces in the shop again. They promise to come back and then just drop off the face of the planet." They had reached the chairs by then. Sighing, she collapsed into a faded maroon chair. As Havoc sat down, she smiled. "In fact, you're only the second person who came after promising to come back." Havoc grinned.

"Oh, really? And who was that?" Misha's smile faded comepletely to be replaced with a look of sorrow. She stood up and reached over to a picture frame that had been sitting on a stack of books. As Havoc saw who was in it, he was stunned that he hadn't seen it before. Misha smiled half-heartedly and sat back down, the picture in her hands.

"His name was Brigadeer General Maes Hughes," she said softly. She handed the picture to Havoc, who looked at it with a grin. Hughes had his arm draped around the shoulder of a long-haired Misha. Both had radiant smiles on their faces and Misha had two fingers stuck up in a 'V'. Havoc handed her the picture back.

"He came to the shop the first day I had decided to take it over after my parents' death. I had short hair then," she added. Havoc snorted.

"I noticed." Misha grinned.

"Anyway, he showed up and I was completely flooded with business. Back then, he was just a Major, but most of the people who were in the shop were his subordinates. When he noticed how overworked I was, he ordered everyone to hurry up. Of course they had too, but when they had left, he stayed." Misha began to chuckle softly. "He started showing me pictures of his girlfriend, telling me how proud he was of her. I remember that he was always like that, showing pictures all the time. It got annoying at times..."

"Tell me about it," Havoc muttered. He had not meant for her to hear it, but Misha glanced in his direction, head tilted curiously.

"Did you say something?" she asked. Havoc shook his head. Misha shrugged. "Oh well," she dismissed. "I guess I"m just hearing things..." She turend to Havoc, a worried look on her face. "I'm not boring you, am I?" she asked. Havoc shook his head.

"Of course not, please continue." Misha smiled gratefully and continued her story.

"It turned out that he had some really interesting things, though. So I asked him to come the next day. 'Of course!'," Her impression of Maes was extremely accurate, Havoc noted. "he said. Sure enough, he came the next day, along with a pie his girlfriend had baked him and more pictures. From that point on, he came nearly every day, and soon enough Gracie began to come as well." Misha grinned. "Did you know I was a bridesmaid for their wedding? It's so funny, they seemed to include me in everything they did..." She got up and went to a shelf that was almost, but not quite, covered with books. She rummaged through it, muttering to herself. Havoc couldn't help but notice that the girl was exceptionally beautiful, even wearing ripped jeans and a hoodie that had to be at least five sizes too large. Misha found what she had been looking for with a cry of triumph and wove her way back to the armchair, a picture in hand. She handed it to Havoc with a grin. It was all it took to keep Havoc from gasping as he looked at it. He knew this picture...in fact, he had one of his own on the bedstand next to his bed in Headquarters.

"I just now realized that you're in the picture too," she said casually, but her voice held an undertone of suspicion. Havoc looked up and nodded.

"I'm just surprised that I didn't recognize you the first time I walked into the shop," he moaned. Misha grinned.

"That episode was kinda hard to forget..."

_Flashback_

_Gracia and Maes walked down the isle happily, now man and wife. The bridesmaids and groomsmen followed, the whole procession heading towards the cake and dance floor. Havoc collapsed into a chair in the corner as soon as the happy couple had cut the cake, Hughes getting frosting all over his tux when his slice of cake fell out of his mouth and landing with a wet 'SPLAT' onto his shoe. He watched forlornely as Gracia giggled with the bridesmaids. Havoc felt that it was best that he slip out of the wedding as quietly and as unnoticably as possible. With his luck with women, watching this wedding was close to unbearable for him. Some part of him was goading him, telling him that he'd never get to do this. That he'd never get married, thanks to 'Colonel Sarcasam', as Ed called their superior officer. Another small part of him wanted to cry. The rest of his mind was busy trying to beat the weepy part of his brain into a pulp. He sat there pensively until one of the bridesmaids approached him happily._

_"Hello, mister." she said happily. It was obvious that the girl was around the same age as him, but she spoke with a childlike innocence. She flopped into a chair next to him, her waist-length black locks fluttering a little. She poked him playfully. "Why're ya sitting here all alone?" Havoc grimaced._

_"Because I feel like it," he muttered grumpily. The girl frowned slightly, tugging on a lock of her hair. Then she smiled mischeviously. Reaching over, she grabbed Havoc's arm and dragged him to the dance floor, where everyone was now dancing to some cheesy wedding band. He tried to escape, but her grasp was like iron. "Be nice," she frowned. "This is the first wedding I've ever been to." Havoc sighed and grabbed her shoulders. _

_"Fine," he huffed. "But for one dance only." The girl grinned and they began to shuffle akwardly to the beat of the song that was playing. Just as they were getting used to dancing, Mr. and Mrs. Hughes waltzed by, Maes grinning from ear-to-ear. _

_"Jean, you're holding her wrong," he said happily. He indicated the way his hands lay on Gracia's waist. "That's how you do it, my friend!" Gracia laughed and the two waltzed back the way they had come. Havoc dropped his hands and sighed._

_"Sorry, Miss, but I don't think I can do this anymore," he muttered quietly. The girl looked startled for a minute, but nodded slowly. Havoc began to walk off towards the door, but Maes' loud voice startled him. Maes stood on the stage, one arm wrapped around Gracia's waist, a microphone in the other hand._

_"Hey, people! We forgot one the most important part of the wedding!"_

_"The gifts?" someone from the crowd guessed. Maes shook his head dispairingly._

_"No, no, Roy! We forgot the tossing of the bouquet!" Maes dug into his jacket and pulled a band from the inside pocket of his jacket. There was a quiet murmuring in the crowd as people began to back away from Roy Mustang, who began to grin deviously._

_"Ready?" Gracia cried, holding the bouquet up in the air. There was an approving cheer from the crowd as she tossed the bundle of flowers. They sailed in the air, almost in slow motion, and landed squarely into the girl's arms. She glanced at them, as if shocked. The female portion of the crowd began to gather around the stunned girl. Cheers of, 'Congratulations, Misha!' and 'Roy better not catch the band, for your sake!' buzzed around them. Rolling his eyes, Havoc continued to make his way towards the door. However, as he was walking, something dropped onto his head. Groaning, he picked it up, only to realize with horror that it was the band that Maes had thrown. _

_"Congratulations, Jean Havoc and Misha Minatsuki!" Maes called giddily. "You're the next to be wed!" Havoc glaced about the room in terror and then fled, swearing that he was never going to another wedding again._

_End Flashback_

Misha laughed loudly, remembering Havoc's reaction at the same time that Havoc had. "That was _so _much fun!" she crowed happily. Turning to grin at Havo, she said, "It was also the first time I had ever danced with anyone." Havoc blushed and stared up at the celing.

"...Sorry 'bout that," he muttered apologeticaly. One of Misha's ebony eyebrows arched.

"Why?" she asked, leaning over towards him. There was a strange akwardness that filled the room. Havoc stood up suddenly, stiffening.

"I should go," he said quickly, striding towards the door. Misha followed him, confused. Havoc was about to storm out the door when some part of his brain stopped him dead in his tracks. Only half in control of his body, he turned to glance at her. Misha's face was wrinkled with worry, her grey eyes slightly watery. From somewhere, a question erupted from him. "W-would...you go to a movie with me tomorrow?"

"Uh...sure?" Misha said, more confused than upset. Havoc took that as a good sign.

"So...I'll come by tomorrow, same time, and take you to a movie?" he asked. Misha smiled and walked up to him, poing him lightly on the arm.

"I've got a better idea," she said slyly. "You come here tomorrow and we'll watch a movie upstairs." Havoc looked at her, confused. Misha laughed at his stunned face. "Did I mention that this place used to be a small theatre before my parents bought it and turned it into a bookstore?"

_Day II:_

_The Lutenient has asked Misha out on a date. And she has acccepted. They also remember what happened at the Brigadeer General's wedding. Everything has gone according to plan. I probably should have bet more money...Oh well, too late for that now._


End file.
